Then break tooth picks off in all the door locks, smash the windows or drill holes in the fuckin roof but causing chaos for your neighborhood is whack

Poke- hater since waaay back 🦾🦾🦾

Boop

Keep her away from those pokemon freaks

Blasphemy

I would eat all the Boston creme in one day

Someone needs to make a meme of trump and elon as the island boys with a caption " epstein island boys"

It fucks up the whole neighborhood dummy

Not Saucony Jazz they have no marketing no celebrity spokesperson but they are my official shoe. The cheapest most comfortable foot ware. An old school runner that gives me ( a fat man ) a jump on the pigs even in my old age

🏃‍♂️ 🚓

An old steel rod car antenna is the ultimate. All you have to do is slice the air a few times and the sound alone will keep everyone away

Freebasing that fedi

I ditched most of my friends when twitter and facebook came out. They all got too twitchy and really boring to be around. They were becoming more and more self conscious and self absorbed. It’s some scary shit watching from a far

Lmao No

They are sadly that stupid. I was wrapping up a job and talking to the customer ( die hard trump freak ) , typical " yeah, nice weather this weekend, hope you have a nice vacation this summer etc.".

Somehow the price of “things” comes up and this lady says "yeah it’s like the extended warranty on my car! They keep raising the rates every year and I think I’ve paid them as much as the car cost me used! But at least i know if it breaks down ill be covered "

😭😭😭 Noooo you stupid idiot ! That is a fucking scam ! Everyone knows that!

Well, they are the people that fall for all that dumb ass shit. I don’t understand how they live so long and have nice homes. I just can’t figure it out.

She probably gets a couple softball questions right from time to time :

🗣 " Today is Thursday, right?"

🧟‍♀️ “Yessssssss!”

They did the math

Other people’s piss. But to get the joke you need to know the song from the 90’s ; O.P.P.

Theodore Roosevelt could read several hundred page books every night in a few hours and have all the information on total recall …from what I’ve read. Apparently he would impress world leaders by studying their entire culture before meeting and it allowed him to deeply connect with them. My grandfather was the same way.

I wish I was that lucky but my brain doesn’t work like that

A buddy called me to fix some plumbing in a house he baught , he said the previous owners were hoarders. So I went over and the whole fucking basement was wall to wall book shelves with fucking isles!

He said the lady that owned the house was some eccentric type that hung out in NY back in the 50’s around artists and writers, traveling the world etc. her husband was some sort of critic and they liked books.

I asked what he was doing with it all and he said he sold the contents of the house sight unseen to some guy that wanted it all and was going to be arriving any minute but if I wanted anything to take it now. My brain was scrambling, I didn’t want to be a dick so I just grabbed two books; Tropic of Cancer and Future Shock ( and a bunch of lab equipment that was in a secretive back room lol). They were both first edition books and had newspaper clippings about Miller and Toffler among other reviews that were stuffed in the pages.

It was crazy because they had so much bad ass shit , old leather bound stuff etc. It was just too much to process and I hope it didn’t all wind up in a dumpster. I wish I could have spent a few days pillaging those shelves.

Bang ! BOOM! CRASH!!

Dog jumps out of bed and runs into the other room

Me: sorry doggo I was trying to get a drink of water, get back in bed

Doggo: why you do all that noises you fool